Once you truly understand the value you hold, and once you fully let go of the things that are no longer serving you such as anger, shame, and negative thinking… the proper diet will come, and the will to explore + implement plant medicines over chemical suppressants will be reached naturally.
When you love yourself and release the stagnation that comes with resentment and bottled up emotions, you don’t want to punish yourself with foods or thoughts that don’t make you feel your best. The empty space that fuels our addictions begins to dissipate. You simply want to choose nourishing food because you love your body.
I haven’t yet started my post-vacation parasite cleanse, as Nick’s intuition told him we should wait until a week before the full moon. Parasites detach from the intestinal walls to breed and are most vulnerable to herbs on the full and new moons. We usually do our cleansing around the new moon, but this time he wants to switch it up. (And if you’re doing my cleanse, don’t worry – no matter when you start, you will hit at least one of the moon cycles since the cleanse is almost a full month!)
While I wait to begin this round, I decided to do some emotional cleansing first. As I told you guys before, when I got home from DR, I went straight to my mother’s house to tell her that I forgive her. I told her I understand that hurt people, hurt people. She was so destroyed and abused by her mother that it was all she knew; her daily life was chaos at the hands of the person that was supposed to love her, and that was reflected in the way she treated the ones she loved. I understood that the things she said to me throughout my childhood were reflections of how she felt about herself; they parroted the internal dialogue she had to suffer with every day because of what her mother said to her.
There are no evil people, only people who have been wounded and live in the vibration of their injuries. My mother is a beautiful person with the spirit of a young child inside of her that just wants to be loved and happy. Any pain I experienced taught me invaluable lessons and allowed me to write this blog today, so I regret nothing.
I released the resentment I was holding, gave it up to my angels, and asked them to take it away. I woke up the next day and passed over 15 liver fluke parasites in my stool. This was one of them. Google “liver flukes in stool” to see more. They are bright red, as they literally and figuratively eat our life force – our blood. I was not taking parasite cleansing herbs of any kind. The liver is the organ that holds onto anger and resentment.
Once I released the emotions I held for my mother, my liver became strong enough to fight some of the physical manifestations of that anger: parasites. After all, parasites are self-destructive organisms, that mirror our self-destructive emotions or thoughts. Anger only hurts the person that is harboring it.
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
The connection between the emotional and physical is realer than I ever imagined. This is what we must focus on, before trying to force ourselves to eat healthy when underneath it all we don’t really feel we DESERVE that health. That’s why the binge cycle happens. We strive for perfection (which is already self-punishing because that’s denoting we’re not good enough to begin with). Then when we slip up, the disappointment is even greater so we spiral downwards. “I already ate ____, so I might as well eat ____ too.” We’re basically saying I’m already a failure, so I might as well punish myself more by moving even further away from my goals. We must focus on healing internally and feeling worthy first. The will to change our diets and clean out our bodies physically and emotionally will come effortlessly. When your spirit is flying so high from bliss and the release of deep frustration, life-supporting choices come naturally because you WANT to LIVE.
“Diets” do not work because it means something is wrong with you. Accept wherever you are now, and whatever choices you are making now. They are exactly the ones you needed to make at this moment and you are doing nothing wrong. You can only get better and better from here. Study the chart in the beginning of this post and see if you can find connections between your own symptoms and the emotions listed.
There is always an emotional factor. One of my friends has severe chronic pain, and just as the chart said, she is dealing with major guilt. I myself have had skin problems like acne, which can be from giving others power over you, and not accepting or disliking the self. I still get pimples here and there when I let comments on the internet have power over me, it’s almost instant! When I feel guilty over something I just ate instead of loving myself and feeling gratitude to boost my digestion, bam – I get a breakout. Another friend of mine has chronic constipation, which is the inability to let go or the act of holding in emotions. This is very accurate for her as well, as she holds in a lot of the pain and self-limiting thoughts she experiences and suffers in silence.
Your body is your friend, and it’s ready to direct energy towards healing as soon as you are ready to direct energy away from negative emotions and anger. Forgiveness is always the answer, and it is the first step to getting well.
Together we CAN and WILL do this… never give up! xx
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